Cemeteries can provide a lot of great information for those doing genealogical and historical research. However, it's important to remember that a cemetery is, first and foremost, a final resting place for peoples' loved ones. Additionally, many cemeteries are historic landmarks.
So, if you do choose to visit cemeteries during your research, the following is good to keep in mind:
- Be respectful. This is the most important thing to remember, and really should go without saying. Be unobtrusive if there are people visiting their loved ones. Don't disturb any tokens that have been left at the graves - this includes flowers, photographs, coins, and other trinkets. If you bring any tokens with you with the intent to leave them at a grave, I think that's a nice gesture. However, you should find out whether the cemetery has restrictions on the types of mementos that are permitted (national cemeteries, for example, have very specific rules about what can and cannot be left at a gravesite).
Do not walk or sit on top of the graves - this can sometimes be difficult to ascertain in older cemeteries where the markers are placed a little more haphazardly, but do your best to keep from walking over the tops of the people buried there. If driving through the cemetery rather than parking and walking through, be careful to stay on the designated path.
If a funeral is in progress, consider coming back another time or moving to a part of the grounds where you will not be a possible distraction. You might intend to be as quiet as you want, but humans are curious creatures - some random person out jotting down notes, taking measurements and photographs is going to turn some heads.
Some cemeteries (or designated sections of cemeteries) have specific religious association. Even if you are not a follower of the cemetery's religious affiliation, be as cognizant and respectful as possible of that religion's practices regarding the cemetery and the dead.
- Don't disturb the grave markers. Many of the older markers especially can be fragile, even though they are usually made of stone. Years of exposure to the elements does enough damage on its own, so don't add to it/make it worse.
If an inscription is weathered to the point that it is difficult to make out, do not under any circumstances use chalk, shaving cream, or any other substance to try making it more visible. Do not make a rubbing of the inscription, either. These can be damaging to the stone, particularly for markers made of softer material like limestone. If necessary, you can use a light source at an oblique angle and take photos.
Inevitably, you will come across markers which have been knocked over and/or broken. Good intentions aside, don't try to stand them back up or repair them in any way. If you feel you would like to do these things, contact the person or organization charged with care-taking and preservation at the cemetery to find out how you can help. You should also report vandalism to the caretakers and/or to the local police department.
If/when taking measurements for a marker, be careful not to touch the marker with your measuring tape. It is still possible to take an accurate enough measurement by placing the tape close without touching.
- Be sure whether the cemetery is public or private. If the cemetery is on private land, contact the property owner to get permission before going onto the grounds. If the cemetery is public, make sure what the visiting hours are - not that it would do you any real good to go after dark, anyway.
You will also want to find out if there are any other particular rules. Many websites for public cemeteries have a page which outlines what that facility considers to be proper etiquette. Many also have specific restrictions about photography. If you find the property's website states that photography is prohibited, this is often with regards more specifically to people attempting artistic or glamour style photography using live models. You can always contact someone and explain your objective - they might make an exception within reason. Some cemeteries offer permits you can apply for as a photographer, for example.
- Leave the cemetery cleaner than when you arrived. I'm sure you've heard this with regard to visiting many other kinds of places, and I think it's also suitable when visiting a cemetery. Never leave trash. I like to bring work gloves and a grocery bag to pick up trash when I see it. I also like to bring a small trowel to remove weeds from near the markers, but if you also choose to do this, be VERY careful not to disturb the markers. Cemeteries that are still in use will have groundskeepers, so this is likely only to come up when visiting older sites. Do not pull the weeds forcibly - use the edge of the trowel as a blade to saw through the weed at the ground level. My rule of thumb for this is "if it's not overgrown, leave it alone."
Some people (let's be real - adolescents) like to "brave" the "spooky" cemeteries after dark and use them as hangouts to smoke and drink and fool around. In addition to reporting vandalism, you may want to report this to caretakers and/or police as well if you find evidence of it during your visit.
- Children and pets. If you bring your kids along, make sure they understand and follow proper etiquette as well. Even very young children are capable of understanding and practicing respectful behavior, but if they are finding it to be a challenge (as young children are wont to do from time to time), be understanding and try visiting another time.
If you want to bring your dog with you, find out the cemetery's rules on this - some facilities allow pets as long as they are well-behaved and you clean up after them. Others will strictly prohibit pets.
- Safety First! This should be common sense, but especially if you are going to an out-of-the-way cemetery or an historic location with not much visitation, you may want to let someone know where you are going, or at least be sure to bring a mobile phone with you. You don't want to end up stranded there if something happens.
Do not bring weapons onto the cemetery grounds, but as mentioned above, there are people who like to make a hangout of cemeteries for certain types of potentially shady events. It's not a bad idea to have defense spray or something similar handy in addition to having a mobile phone.
Be aware of your surroundings. Even if you are the only person there, or the other people around are totally normal, non-violent individuals, there are any number of other things that could happen. You might disturb a snake, a spider, or some kind of insect with a stinger. You could trip over a tree root or the boundary to a family plot. You might accidentally topple a marker, which then falls on top of you.
Bring a bottle of water and don't forget the sunscreen! I once thought I would be fine without sunscreen for just a couple of hours on an overcast afternoon, but I was very much mistaken. As for the water - this might not seem like exercise, but trust me when I say that if you will be out for even a little while, you will want to stay hydrated. It can be thirsty work.
Can you think of anything I may have forgotten? Please let me know in the comments!
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